Motherhood, Matresence and Alcohol
Last month I let you know on my social media channels that I received my Certificate of Completion for the Mama Rising course that I studied over 6 months at the end of 2023 & beginning of 2024.
I am now an accredited Mama Rising Facilitator and Motherhood Coach!
In the course we studied Matresence: the transition to motherhood, and what it means to be a mother, to us personally, and the way mothers and mothering is viewed by society. We dug into some juicy concepts such as:
Competing Devotions
The Mental Load
The Rigged System
The Maternal Mandate
The Good Mother
The Successful Woman
The Inner Split; and
Self-Silencing
There were many more and I cannot wait to share my knowledge on these topics over the coming months.
For those who haven’t heard of Matresence before, as per the Mama Rising definition, Matresence is the complete transformation and identity shift of a woman as she moves through motherhood, it affects us - psychologically, socially, emotionally, physically, economically, culturally and spiritually.
The word Matresence was first coined by Dana Raphael in the 1970s, and then resurrected and redefined by Dr Aurelie Athan as similar to adolescence: “The process of becoming a mother, coined by Dana Raphael, Ph.D. (1973), is a developmental passage where a woman transitions through preconception, pregnancy and birth, surrogacy or adoption, to the postnatal period and beyond. The exact length of matrescence is individual, recurs with each child, and may arguably last a lifetime! The scope of the changes encompass multiple domains -bio-psycho-social-political-spiritual- and can be likened to the developmental push of adolescence.”
I feel it is important for women to understand Matresence because it provides an answer to the questions that a woman may be asking herself and others, each time she becomes a mother to her first, or future children. She may question why she sometimes feels negative feelings of anger, sadness, overwhelm, loss of self, grief and pain, alongside the widely accepted and expected positive feelings of joy, pride, gratitude, love and cherishing that come with this time in a womans’ life.
I thought that I would love being a mother, and that I was supposed to love every part of it.
I didn't realise that becoming a mother is a rite of passage, or that there would be a holistic transformation accompanying the process where I would experience and be affected by physical, psychological, spiritual, emotional, social, economic & cultural changes that would sometimes happen all at once, and sometimes happen separately, over and over again as my child grew.
I believe that when a mother learns about Matresence, it helps her to feel seen, heard and understood in her motherhood journey in a way that she may not have been before. It assists her in the understanding that she is not alone and more importantly, there is nothing wrong with her, the way she is feeling, or the way she is mothering.
Completing this course has been a life changing experience, from which I have grown, not only professionally, but also personally. The way the course was delivered in such a safe, supportive, achievable and heart led way was completely different to the rigid, hustle and grind mentality that usually goes hand in hand with completing most courses.
You may be asking yourself why I decided to study a course on Motherhood and what that has to do with me being a Mindful Drinking Mentor? On the surface, changing your relationship with alcohol & motherhood, seem to be topics that are quite far away from each other, but it is through my own experience of motherhood and working with my coaching clients over the past couple of years that I have come to understand that it is sometimes because of all the pressures on Mothers that they are more likely to use alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Alcohol can sometimes end up becoming a very BIG part of Mothers lives, much bigger than they intended it to be, and I am here to help those Mothers remember who they were, and who they are without relying on it so much.
I just want to take a minute to acknowledge @amytaylorkabbaz and the Mama Rising Team for the depth of knowledge, insight and dedication they have put into the content and delivery of this course.
Having the opportunity to look back at and delve into my beliefs, values, life events, and motherhood experiences, that have shaped who I am as a woman and a mother has allowed me to look at myself and my life from a new perspective, one that I will continue to grow and learn from well into the future, Thank-you Amy.